Updated

Well as u guys can see, i updated this old blog.
It just looks too simple at the first time i done it.
but this doesnt mean i"ll be busy updating this thing.
Exam is still here.
So this means i"ll still update this blog when i can,
only just a little bit more.

Rage

Have you ever felt that no matter how much you want to set things right,

It never seems to work,

and you find yourself back where you were in the first place,

No matter how you so desperately want things to change,

They just get screwed up in the end,

You tried to hold your breathe,

You tried to play their rules,

You just listen as those asses,

as they just keep on telling you that you re doing it wrong,

You clutch you re teeth,

holding yourself from screaming in disbelief,

Cant believe its all coming to an end,

those days where you just try to live it by,

Hoping it wont ruin what you have or what you are,

As you shake that jackass,

telling em' that your alright,

Praying you don't crush their hand in doing so,

But that's not the end of it,

another pain comes,

Antagonise by fear and guilt,

Scared to say,

or whisper even the slightest sound,

Withdrawing yourself away,

Only to scream yourself asleep,

Waiting,

Hoping,

For that moment,

To just let it all out!

This is just written about an incident happened a week ago.

Season greetings

Moments

Why life has to be so short? Moments....Moments... They say life is all about the moment....Whenever we choose to enjoy it or even pass it down,we get to choose but what happes if we never knew it was truly a moment where we should enjoy it or be fucked up by it? There good moments and yet there are moment to horific to live by through. Haha... Arghh... Oh my gosh! I wish this day would never end! I just wanna live this through.... We all have ways with word whenever it comes to loving or even hating the moments.. Some are so terrific that you can put it in articles and gets the teacher good recognition...and other well not so good, but still when you look at it describe the moments we live by thru whenever by self-experince or by stories.. Moments keeps us alive and sometimes makes others strong,whenever you notice or not... Moments of fault, moments of fear, moments of deceive ,moments of life and death, moments of losing someone or something thats so special to you, are this moments can really bring you down and sometimes kill you, wanting it desperately to end it, but the again there are also moments of joy, moments of appreciation, moments of triumph, and even moments of passion, this moments are the moments that keep you alive and still holding on to life and keep on living with the pain. Theres a saying once,i dunno if it exist or im just pulling my weight, How we live our lifes will effect on how people around us on how they live with theirs. Last night could have been the worse moments of my life, my dearest, Zaihanirah, experience that moment of life and death,she got into a car accident which cud have been devastating but luckily it was her dad that was driving which avoided the accident from becoming far worse then it shud have. At that time i just got back home and was about to enter the house when i suddenly receive a call from her bro,Amirul, he sounded like he was a bit off,i thought he was goofing off(which i didnt koe his lips pecah,sorry dude i didnt koe),but when he pass the the handphone to hani,she was crying and she told me that she got involve in a car accident. I swore when she said that, i could just have fainted on the spot cause my knee was already trembling just a little more,nite out. At that moment i was fearing for the worse,even the thought of losing her,which will be hard for me to bear. At that moment,i didnt know what cud i do. There she was in pain and suffering,i could not do anything! I wanted to scream bt i couldnt cause fear already grip me by the throat,i wanted to go and help her but i didnt know where she was. I felt so useless and i didnt koe was should i do or even wat to think. I was a train wreck. That night as i waited for her call(more like text),i saw the moments we had together,the laughs, the embarrassment we when thru at tuisyen and school and even the promises we made with each other. When they say how u live the moment will effect the people around you,now I know why,There she was having the probally worse moments in her life and my moment was also effected,it was a like a black note for me that day, I was going thru again that moment of fearing of losing someone you love and care about. When she texted me that she was ok,i couldnt be sure,so thats why i called her just to koe she was doing ok(its not that i didnt trust that she was ok,its just that sometime text lie or can be covered up so easily,and manh she is a expert with cover ups).When i heard her voice that nite,i could help myself from bursting to tears,knowing she was doing ok,with some injuries,but fine nevertheless. After we finish talking,we said our gudnite but i cudnt sleep well that nite so i tried to calm myself and eventually i slept around 4am.

As a result of that incident, i promise myself i`ll never go drunk ever again,becuz the ass that did this to her,was drunk. So zan i hope you understand ok? Its not i dun wan to spend new year hanging out with you, its just that i dun want to get drunk n hurt anybody.And bro, thanks for helping me out yesterday to calm my nerves,if it was for you i`ll surely cud have broken down,Thanks Wayne Keith Rumpang,ure an awsome bro and im glad i knew you.

So, moments... moments..... moments... They are what makes us keep on living but we have to try our best to live the good ones and leave the bad ones out,Way out, and also remember that hope we live our moments will eventually effect the people around us. People do shit in life because the never appreciate the moments the have,like that drunk bastard,he had a bad time until it hurted people he dun even koe. So live your moments to the best because life is short and we gotta try to make the best out of it!

Signing off.

Check it out...

U`ll do things when youre bored,odd things. So i decided to surf the web and i came across some of this nice facts. U decided.

The Heart-Repair Calculator.

Time is the great healer. But how long will it take? After much study, this is the best formula for getting an estimate:


Short relationships (3 MONTHS OR LESS)
1.count the number of weeks that you knew the person before the relationship turned romantic, and then divide this number by 2
2.count the number of weeks that you were romantically involved
3.add-up A and B
4.count the average number of days per week you saw him/her during the romance, and divide this number by 2
5.multiply C and D - that's how many weeks it will take to begin feeling normal

Example: Lou met Barb. After 4 weeks they started dating. They dated for 8 weeks, seeing each other an average of 4 nights per week. Then Barb left. It will take Lou's heart about 20 weeks (or just under 5 months) to recover.


Mid-length relationships (1 YEAR OR LESS)
1.count the number of months that you were romantically involved
2.count the average number of days per week you saw him/her during the romance, and divide this number by 2
3.multiply A and B - that's how many months it will take to begin feeling normal


Example: Dave met Sandra. They had a passionate romance for 8 months, seeing each other about 3 times per week. Then Sandra left. It will take Dave's heart about 12 months (1 year) to recover.



Long relationships (1 YEAR OR MORE)
1.estimate how happy you were (day to day) on a scale of 1 to 3
2.estimate how physically attractive you found your mate on a scale of 1 to 3
3.add up A and B - and then divide this number by 2-- this will give you a number in years
subtract one year from the total

Example: John was happily married to Mary (he ranked his happiness a 2 out of 3. He found Mary very attractive, a 3 out of 3. Mary leaves. John's heart will take 1 ½ years to recover.

Check out more on the site.http://healmybrokenheart.com/

Ah,yes yesterday i when out with a bunch of frends hani,zan,lim and the star of that day,Alex,mahn he really surprise me and.He back here to celebrate Christmas here and to fulfil a promise he made with hani.Manh,was i surprise. So we hangout and we decided to watch a movie and woah i was totally swept away by it. It was the one and only.......

Twilight

(for more info go out and check her blog,www.hunnyz92.blogspot.com)

I was so totally captivated by the movie,it was so awesome until i started to like and wanted to be a twilight vampires ( no ure still not winning yet dear) a bit and i was so eager ed to wanted to know if there was any sequel. And to my surprise there was. There were three more sequel to that movie. (thanks alex for the info)im just gonna give you guys a spice i wont ruin the surprise.

This is the second book.

In an attempt to keep her safe from the world of vampires, Edward tells Bella that he and the rest of his family are leaving the town of Forks, Washington because he doesn't want her anymore. Bella becomes severely depressed and seeks comfort with Jacob Black, an old family friend who eases her pain over losing Edward

This is the third book.

Bella expresses her desire to have Edward make love to her before turning her into a vampire. Edward initially refuses, explaining to Bella that he could very easily kill her....

And to finally end the sequel,the fourth and final book.

I wont say anything cause it will spoil the fun.

Well thats all,there are some more but me lazy want to edit some more. Too tired.

Signing out.

............

I just check out my girlfriends blog and well, I wanna just say im sorry and i didnt mean to make you feel like the way you did... Its my fault we had that misunderstanding, actually i felt like breaking down that day... I was trying to force myself to not really always pop into your life as too much, dont get me wrong,i do want you in my life as much as i want to be in yours,its just well that
i dun want to ever be annoying,its just how i am and i never like it... i guess i dun want to regret if somehow it was over... I didnt want to disappoint me and especially you,dear... Guess being too careful never works.. And im sorry,again... Its just that i want to learn to understand u, so in order for me to do so, i need to learn to let you live your life and i cant always interfere just because i dont like some of it... Im gonna try my best to never again doubt you or even disappoint myself,its because i love you thats why i became that way... OK from now on i`ll promise to never doubt , hurt you,or burden you with unnecessary pain,dear... and for you people who are reading this, know that ure all the witness to this promise i made...

Hmm....

When i thought everything would turn out okay,i founded that i cant seem to just get up like i did before, somehow the feeling was just well like, i dunno... i cant express myself with just words.. Never could,and if i wanted,i felt that what i`ll might do might just end up breaking up someones hope... Am i that hard to understand? I might sometimes look like i dont care but in truth thats what i am... U know what? I cant always be there... Its impossible for someone to always be there for someone all the time, at best we can always try but im just human so i cant always do much... Im no superman,nor i am a wannabe... Im just me... I cant express myself all the time, i dont have excellent control in words like other people,nor i have the courage to speak up whenever i want to.. But i`ll always try... And if anyone in the past before this was hurted by my because of me,well i wanna take this time to ask you to forgive me.... For whenever i acted like a jerk,an ass,or looks like i dont seem to care or cany seem to trust you... The fact is, i`ve been always and when i say always,i mean most of the time took no care in life unlike you guys did, lived by one solid vow(nw ex-) JUst take what lifes gives you but never give your life to it..

But now i dont want to live that care-free life anymore... I learnt that i should start to care for people around me and also learnt to give the the trust they deserve,if possible,my faith... Because i realise the bleeds and cuts of the past was all because i could not trust people around me and even myself... I know that this is gonna be hard and i might try to give up along the way but i know with all the support and a little bit of time, i will change....